Cigarette smoke curls and licks at her frazzled locks, braiding them with a scent of something delicious and sensuous. I watch her sway before me. Her attempts to seduce are abysmal but I smile, my lips sticking to my teeth as I watch each layer removed from her body like onion peels.
Brown skin burns in the soft light and I desperately want to squeeze it between my fingers, feel its texture and warmth. But I stay my course. A gentle breeze lifts the cheap chintz curtains, exposing the street lights and dismal rain sloshing down the streets below. The air is a welcome break from the incense and heady perfume permeating every inch of this tiny room that she and I share. Our breath is mixed in these close quarters, almost tasting each other in its closeness.
Fingers test their boundaries as she snakes herself over my inert body, hoping for a response that will never come. What I want will make her scream – the kind of scream that sends nosy neighbours running and crying into their phones; the kind of scream that makes my skin crawl in delight and sends shivers down my spine. I lick my lips in anticipation. It’s time.
Her flexing muscles gyrate against my lap, working sweat through her armpits and at her temples. She’s ugly when she tries so hard. I snap her pretty little head with a flick before she can cry out. It’s a pity really. Such a waste of that gorgeous skin. Maybe I could take some and keep it for later? Yes. Waste not want not, and all that. Her muscles are still flexing as life flows out of her body. I mount her, feeling the power seep through my skinny body. Eyes once so bold now glaze over in a steady exchange with mine as I tilt my head left to right, a bird sitting on its prey.
Cigarette smoke slithers up the curtains and dances to the rain drops outside. My keepsake is carefully packed away in my briefcase and she is dressed in her best for her discovery later tonight or maybe tomorrow morning. I linger. It’s just that she’s so damn beautiful lying there in her dressing gown with her fingernails painted with matching toes. Those wayward locks are framing her face, exposing fine cheekbones I hadn’t noticed before. The light certainly gives her a mysterious flavour and I can’t resist kissing those luscious pink lips one more time.
With a sigh, I take one last look at the studio flat. The breeze has died down and the rain is no longer beating out its tender pulse. My exit will be observed at this late hour. Risks have to be taken by any doctor visiting his patient after hours. After all, isn’t this part of the service? I can feel my lips sticking to my teeth again so I blow out my cheeks as my gloved fingers trail down her fantastic body. Yes. I must go.
Until my next appointment, I shall have her to enjoy in my thoughts and in my fridge.
Oh my gosh E.De Sousa just this little excerpt kept me reading and reading. Your words tie me in. Your twists and turns, as in The Iron Pendulum, mysteriously keep me reading. Who dunit … can’t be worked out … until you, you decide to unveil! An artiste.
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Thank you for your lovely description and tying it into The Iron Pendulum too! You’re so kind. This makes it all worth it.
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Eewwww… in a good way!
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😂😂 Glad it moved you!
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Impressive Eloise how does he his height of choosing his victims to fulfil his violent fantasy to complete his climax sexual euphoria?
Is he confident in his skills set or mastering his craft to superiority ?
Is he above or average intelligence?
Being sexual sadist these women he chooses as his victims what is his motive in selecting Why Her and not Her .
Being he chooses to display his work as formations of master canvas
Does he ability to shut his urges on or off or is it more predatory once he had taste of their innocents feeling their lives drain from their veins into corrugated emotionless statues its addiction to him ?
What is significance of putting into elegant state like object of obsession.
Look forward to hearing more Eloise , I to wrote a book as well created my own vision of philosophy.
Slainte
Alex
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I really appreciate your questions and interest. My poor character has been sitting on the sideline waiting for someone to ask these questions. Once I have those answers for you and build his character and presence, I shall post it for you. Thank you so much for your input Alex. Much appreciated.
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Anytime Eloise , I wrote something that got me thinking as I was reading your synopsis , I had done writing way back when . So I took some pieces to come with precision Brimstone into a flesh formation appears as human but its motivated by pure lust and the need to quench blood thirsty hunger to lavish in the ruins of the innocents.
Check it out
https://evolutionofselffeedyourhunger.wordpress.com/2019/03/15/night-reaper/
And I will look forward to your vision of creativity
Happy St Patty’s
Slainte
Alex
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Hey Eloise as promise here is summary of R .C in which S.K uses cocktail of deadly toxins in his game of Death and using Venom as his recipe of mass destruction.
Slainte
Alex
https://wp.me/p9oCjX-hw
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Fantastic! Thanks for sharing it Alex.
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Anything I should add or any ideas you have to intensify ?
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Unfortunately, I can’t open it! It’s not recognising the page. Please could you check the link. Thanks.
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Okay I am done so here the H C of Devil’s Kiss of Death
Viper has one purpose to blanket the earth and inflict as much death and mass destruction he can until he either caught or killed .
The clock is ticking how many victims will be led to their horrific , excruciating demise .
Death is his game of Russian Roulette in which there is no escaping and venom is his recipe in which you mean nothing except feeding his sadistic addiction of watching others see their lives drain until their last breath his ultimate climax of sexual euphoria .
https://evolutionofselffeedyourhunger.wordpress.com/2019/03/24/devils-kiss-of-death/
Slainte
Ale
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I thoroughly enjoyed the description and added a few questions for you in the comments. It’ll be interesting to see how you develop your killer.
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Let me know what you think Eloise then I will link to your blog
Cheers
Alex
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Not so much intensify but humanise your character. Maybe add a flaw, something that will engage your audience to him.
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Viper
Age Unknown to be 25-35
Place of birth Pretoria ZA
Off the chart Intellect with pyschotic tendencies
Highly cerebral very dangerous
Several masters in Deadly Arts specialties Suchow Black Tiger Kung Fu and Mauy Thai
Ex Mercenary Sec Ops South African ,guerrilla
Background in both toxicology and Bio Science specialized in Venom Toxicity
He has absolutely no form of remorse or emotional responses to his victims
How and when he chooses his victims behaviourial patterns are unpredictable and cerebral
VIPER
Is very good at blending and its not the human element that gets him off but thrill of stalking his prey and fantasizing special cocktail of each one of his victims
Note: He never uses the method of death twice
No one knows what he looks like he could be in your sights and you would never know” he could be living in your neighbourhood you would never know .
My advice count your blessings and that you’re still alive , because if the Viper knew you were closing in you would never see him coming and your life would cease to exist .
How many victims will endured his sick sadistic, twisted game of death and venom in which he chooses there’s no coming back once he unleashes his cerebral attack.
Matter of time as he watches you die in excruciating agony screaming for help is pointless trying to escape is useless your fate has been seal.
Viper is always watching , stalking only matter of time as he watches patiently in the shadows ……
Slainte
Alex
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If you have any more questions about Viper or species he uses for his venom cocktails many have no anti venom and some are so toxic and deadly it wouldn’t matter .
Ex Geological Cone Sail has 500 compounds of toxins in its venom
Myo,Neuro toxins
Blue ring Octopus native to southern Australia lives in coastal beach coves
Venom is made up of Tetrodotoxin TTX
Red Indian Scorpion size of eraser venom has same bio make up in the venom proteins as Strychine which is said to be the most horrific excruciating way to die.
I may down road turn Viper and the Devil’s Kiss of Death into a book
Alex
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You should! It would be great to see you develop the story.
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You ask if there was human element Eloise” No he acts and dictates his thrill of the hunt as pure predatorial killer instinct. Yes he can come across as charismatic persona but that is nothing more then mirage to snared you into his sick sadistic game . Perhaps someday he will meet a very cerebral formidable adversary that will not let him kill them without a raising Hell ,
I am looking forward to the Viper getting a dose of his VENOM
Any thoughts on his Bio or ideas I think its suffice …..just a thought but later down the road has turn him into villian book character because there is little known about him bringing in long lost sister as one of his victims not knowing there are blood related .
Slainte
Alex
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That would make a good twist if you did introduce someone related to your killer. That could be the adversary he doesn’t expect to take him on.
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My thoughts just like in sport in life there always someone that is your kryptonite . You always prepare for the war but its isolated battles that lead to your demise just look at Roman Empire
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Exactly!
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He has no idea who his sister is or even that she is his blood I thought about infusing a twisted cliff hanger that she was one of his victims that manages to escape from the Viper’s clutches grip of death.
And she even though her experience fractures her mind and life she decides to go into a career in law enforcement, and teaches Psychology into the Criminal mind at Uni in South Africa in Cape Town after finishing Marieka goes onto studying at Melbourne Australia to further her understanding of snakes and other venomous species that ever since she was little has fascinated her sparking curiosity and having fear being told stories that happen to others from Black Mamba attacks.
Now hearing a case that sparks her interest close to home a body was discovered of young Female looks to be early to mid 20’s in a flat in west London c.o.d. unknown but it appears the victim died excruciating agonizing death.
When will the unknown vicious hand of Death strike again clock is ticking…..
Will the hunter become the hunted will Marieka find out twisted sadistic secret that she is closer to her then she realizes.
Note the Viper never attacks the same place twice his methodology in victims is not direct very unpredictable as mention never uses the same formation of execution twice.
Why he does what he does or what makes him tick is like dumping jar of cookies and trying to pick up all the crumbs .
Tick tock tick tock ….Beware what lurks in the shadows
Any ideas you think I said incorporate Eloise
Slainte
Alex
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Typo suppose to be should my bad lol
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😉
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Alex, you’re slowly forming your plot line. I’m so excited for you. Now full in the details of the timeline: does she become part of the task force looking for this infamous Viper? If she has spent all this time studying after being a victim, would she be his youngest victim or is there something more you could add to link them? Expand his storyline: if bodies are found in England, he would have to have a reason for being there. So looking at careers that require travel, a well educated man capable of slipping unnoticed into different social events without raising suspicion. You decide.
Once you have his background and current job spec, your character has the ability to move through your story freely. You’ve got his crytonite – his sister/first victim. Now build your setting and how the story begins.
I can’t wait to read it!
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Thanks Eloise ,
Not sure if she does right a way but something about the inquiry sparks Marieka’s juices being how her cerebral mind ticks and tocks . Honestly I can see her infusing herself into demanding to be apart of specialized task force which has not yet shape its identity or purpose. Because monumental impact COD of the body found in west London in secluded flat of this young girl. Will be only the beginning to this sadistic twisted game of cat and mouse playing the Reaper’s hand of fate.
How many victims will be laid to waste in the wake of Viper’s mass of death&chaos ?
Will anyone be able to stop him from proclaiming yet another lost soul slaughter straight to Devil’s feet.
You ask about Viper he is former South African SRTF ( Specialized Response Task Force )
-Expert in Mortal Kombat hand to hand weapons speciality knives
-Explosives
-Back ground bio science and Herpetology
His last assignment was in Amazon where there was confirmation of comms .
To date M.I.A
-Note sightings
Thailand
Brasil
Kenya
Viper
Real name unknown
He is very cerebral highly intelligent as voracious
Can blend into his surroundings no problem
Note he has been linked to organized crime
hit for hire .
Question Eloise knowing what you know about the Viper who would be your ideal Actor to portray such ruthless vicious nemesis
For me fellas
Jeffrey Dean Morgan
Daniel Craig
Colin Farrell
Kellen Lutz
Jason Momoa
Any thoughts ….
Any ideas I should add into the psychological mind game?
Thanks for continuous support and brain storming!
Working on the brining the vision of Devil’s Kiss of Death has distracted me from gut wrenching agony I am staring down face to face at as you will see as more segments unfold from my story and feeding the Darkness.
Slainte
Alex
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Absolutely I love when impact of my twisted envisions sends fear quivering down my audiences spines with blinding anticipation of the unknown.
Like Crocodile lurking in shadow at the water hole waiting patiently to deliver your fate you may live to see another day or meet the Reaper.
https://evolutionofselffeedyourhunger.wordpress.com/2019/03/15/night-reaper/
Enjoy the emotional roller coaster !
Slainte
Alex
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